Caleb's birthday

Yesterday Caleb turned nine! He's our youngest child and I'm so missing those young years of raising children! Believe me, I get sentimental thinking about all those great years past. We have so many things that we could've/should've/might've/would've done differently, but overall we have SO MUCH we love to reminisce about. With mistakes made all along the way, we are not regretting how we've done our best to raise our kiddos. We have a ton of great memories and traditions established. We have lots of good laughs and chatting about growing up in the Hoppe household. And those days aren't over yet! We're gonna make the best of life, God-willing, and the best is yet to be! It's so fun being in the stage that we're in even now!

Caleb has a strong heart for God as well as compassion for his friends at school. It's so neat to witness his stories about how he has shared his love for Jesus with a couple friends from school. He is a leader wherever he goes. God has some special plans for him! It's gonna be fun seeing them unfold:)

We've got a big party planned for him a week from tomorrow. It's gonna be a bubble blast! He knows he's loved (with or without a party), and we hope he truly feels it when he's blessed at his birthday party. Life is worth celebrating!

Something to Say with Passion

We just went to two concerts (Sat./Sun.) featuring Matthew West. What a great weekend! I love his music, his style, and his lyrics. His songs really preach to my soul! I worshipped as if I were already in heaven! I appreciate how he has a renewed passion to live out loud for Christ, especially after having vocal chord surgery. It's in those times when it seems most dark and unclear that God's presence can be most felt. I know God's going to continue using Matthew as He has brought him through some tough times.

Tonight my daughter went to the concert with a few friends. I am almost speechless as I witnessed my daughter's heart for God. She was in tears because she felt there were some folks who were disregarding Matthew's message. She felt they were ultimately disregarding God and it just broke her heart. She has been yearning for strong Christian friends. Yet, perhaps she is the one who will need to stand alone for Christ and point others to Him. It's really tough seeing your child cry. It makes me stay on my knees for my children, praying that God would be their complete sufficiency and that they would be a true and loving light to the people with whom they are around. I am so grateful that Rick and I are very sensitive to their spiritual struggles. And though it's tough to watch them go through trials, I am so thankful because I know that it is during these difficulties that they grow in their faith and learn to stand for Christ, loving others no matter how great the pain. May Jesus Christ be praised through it all!

Kids make the proudest parents! (in the right sense of the word 'proud') :)

I know Scripture says that "there is no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." I believe that wholeheartedly and I am experiencing glimpses of great joy when I see character and humility ooze out of my children's hearts and mouths. I am deeply moved when I witness their compassion and understanding. I'm thrilled when I see their love for Christ and others. This is always the greatest prayer and delight. I understand that they are still growing and learning what it means to be a Christian, walking daily in the truth.

However, I want to talk about the great joy it is to see my children excel in skills. It's a different kind of joy (surely a proud one!) that I feel as I sit in the stands and watch my daughter Charis cross the finish line at a meet. It's an uncontainable one as I stand on the sidelines and watch my son Connor get the rebound and power his way back up to score the basket. It's a satisfied one as I hear my son Cameron describe the scenarios at his swim practice. It's a contented one as I watch my son Caleb dance with such cool rhythms and timing or create awesome prisms with his GeoMags. Though these are just a small sampling of the skills our kids are learning, I'm so happy to watch them develop and attain various goals. It's real fun being a mom right now and I'm a joyful one at that! I just had to share a few of my proud, yet thankful, thoughts I feel toward my wonderful children. Children ARE a blessing from the Lord!

Thoughts during Voting Season

Here I am - eleven months into the year, the night before the presidential elections, and on a site that I had intended to write on for well over a month now. As much as I enjoy writing, I remain hesitant to record my thoughts and/or even to draw conclusions. Earlier today, I had so many ideas of what I wanted to say. It's hard to focus and just speak on one topic at a time. But I've gotta start somewhere!

As we're on the eve of voting in a new president, my prayer is that I would be honoring to God in how I vote, in how I pray for leadership, in how I treat my fellow Americans, in how I train my children to view opposing opinions, in how I trust God's sovereignty, and in how I can make a difference in the little corner where I live. I believe that both tickets want the best for America, yet I place my full confidence in my God who knows what the future holds and who ultimately holds ME! I pray that we as Christians can lean fully on the Lord, rather than men, politics, and even America's history. I pray that we can be a light to the world and serve our fellow man humbly and graciously. I will endeavor to impact my family and community with an "attitude of fortitude." Psalm 86:8-11 says, "Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name. For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." This is my hope, my prayer, and my daily aim.

Living Beyond Yourself

This week begins our women's bible studies on the Fruit of the Spirit. We're using Beth Moore's worktext entitled, "Living Beyond Yourself." I'm looking forward to this study. I want to learn more about the Holy Spirit's evidences in my life. I need to learn how to walk daily in the Spirit. I know the importance of digging deeper into the Scriptures. The Lord KNOWS how much I need love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control!

Yet, as a leader, there is always a haunting reality that you are being looked up to as an example to follow. I know there's not a standard of perfection; but perhaps it's this desperate need for something to imitate that we all share and desire. We naturally want someone to show us HOW to do something - it's like a "stamp of approval" that we're "doing things right."

Personally, I want to be that example. I've had so many older women pour themselves into my life, helping me and challenging me to follow Christ passionately. (Some who have sought me out, but most of whom I've gone to them for help, discipleship, and counsel.) I've seen godliness modeled and I do have it as my prayer to pour my life into other women. The part that scares me to death is when I fall, I don't want others to fall after me. It scares me when I think of the amount of influence I can have in women's lives. I never want to abuse that influence or to present fallacies. I want to represent Christ well. Please pray for me. I want to be a humble, honest, caring, biblical leader/servant. It's just a daunting task. I know my own weaknesses and even when I feel like an imposter, I still want to throw myself at Christ's feet and be used however He can use me. Because He's given His all for me, I cannot help myself but love and serve Him in return. Believe me, in my selfishness, it's much easier to retreat and rebel! But I am reminded that it is God's glory that is most important, not my own comfort. Again, please pray for me that I would be His useful servant, following Him with a tender heart. Thank you.

To anyone experiencing a dry season in life

Why IS it that there are times when it is so hard to submit to Christ in enough human trust to make it "count?" When is "enough"trust considered sufficient? Lately, every time I've read (since that's how God's been bringing it to me lately) about one of my friends trusting in God, I have just started crying. I've been moved by their faith and convicted of my own weakness. Yet, somehow, also emboldened at God's grip on them. At this time, I have a 35-y-o girlfriend who just received news yesterday that Hodgkins cancer has now struck after having fought breast cancer twice before already. She has a 2-yr-o daughter. Her stance yesterday was that she continues to claim Psalm 73:26,28. I bawled at her strength. Another friend has been facebooking me this past week. She doesn't trust the church and has been hurt by the people in it. She's seeing a counselor for help, but yet is asking for my help because we didn't "give up on her" when we lived in Ohio 10 years ago. I hurt for her struggle. I've been getting updates daily on another friend whose 9-y-o daughter was just sitting under a tree after church two Sundays ago and a branch fell down and perfectly punctured her in the pupil. As a missionary in Albania, she and her daughter had to go to Turkey to receive emergency help. The diagnosis as of yesterday was that there is definite damage to the retina and that she needed to remain hospitalized so that the doctors could watch for the blood pooling to dissipate. I'm in tears because I couldn't imagine having to be the "strong mommy" in that situation. Yet I'm humbled by her trust in God and her praising God for all the little things. She's claiming Psalm 34:8. I've been seeing a lot of people hurting lately. And as I'm just coming out of a deep trial myself, I've known the pain and loneliness that my friends are feeling. I've experienced the supernatural mercy of God even in the times that I've resisted it the most.

Sometimes when even the littlest things are taken away from us, we question how we can continue on in life. We feel rejected and misunderstood. It hurts when you feel like you've lost something special.

I know the silent treatment. I know the frustration, the mentally exhausted mind. I know the cold shoulder syndrome when things don't go my way. I know how to throw the rebellious attitude. I know the cynical side of acknowledging God's sovereignty. I know the dread of having to see other Christians when you just want to crawl into your own secluded corner. I know! It's definitely a struggle. It's a very hard place to be. And yet life has to go on, kids have to be fed, chores have to be done, food needs to be prepared, errands have to be run, sleep need to be had, agendas need to be met, etc!

In this dry season, may you catch breathtaking glimpses of God's tender eyes. He'll never let go. He's providing for you. He's given you a friend who's praying for you and walking with you. He knows it's going to be okay. He wants you to know it, too. I love you.

He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Another pilgrim on life's journey to HEAVEN... Nancy

Happy 13th birthday, Connor

I now officially have two teenagers in our home now. It is such a fun and rewarding season of life. My friends tell me that once they start high school, time just flies by and then they're out of the home. I want to heed their wisdom and take full advantage of the time remaining. Charis is 14 and is fast becoming a dear friend. (I'm so glad the Lord gave us ONE daughter!) Although Connor is only in 7th grade, he is 5'9" in a size 13 shoe, and is maturing in many visible ways. I think of our Lord when he was growing up on earth (Luke 2:52) - increasing in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God as well as with others. This is just a note to recall the amazing grace of God that we see in Connor's life. We took him out to breakfast yesterday and asked him how he's seen God working in his life. He shared with us that he's been more faithful in reading the Bible and that he's been praying so much more than he had in the past. We were so encouraged because he was able to share with us a little of how he's in a true relationship with Christ. Of how it's a back-and-forth communication of God and man. I love the more mature conversations that we are beginning to have. I love the development that I'm starting to see in his character and mindset. Sure, there's a very long way to go, but I want to focus on the growth and leadership that he is wanting and trying to demonstrate. Connor, as our first son, you are a young man of honor and purity. We pray that you continue to trust God completely and worship him with your lifestyle. We're your number one support team and we love you unswervingly! Now...on to manhood!

School started today!

Off to a smooth start, all three boys began school this morning. Charis had already begun last Wednesday. It's hard to believe that I've homeschooled the children for three years, but it felt right to take them to their community schools to become more of a part of Merced. We're on three campuses - Caleb (3rd) and Cameron (5th) at Fremont Elem., Connor (7th) at Rivera Middle, and Charis (9th) at Merced High. As no situation is totally ideal, we are very thankful for the provisions of God to grant us excitement, peace and protection for our kids. Connor knew NO ONE and even ate lunch by himself. I'm sure that'll change once he starts sports and learns his classmates better. Cameron didn't know anyone either, but once he got into his new room, he recognized someone from his Little League baseball team. Whew! That was an answer to prayer! Caleb, once he got on campus, took off and wasn't seen again until after school! Charis began Cross-Country team today and ran 3 1/2 miles. She came home pretty exhausted and we loaded her up with a chocolate milk and energy bar. I know just how sore she's gonna get before she gets more fit. So I know how to pray! The biggest challenge is going to be putting them to bed since they love watching the Olympics. Lord willing, we'll have a fun and special week returning to the rigor of school and schedule. I'm ready for summer to end...at least the heat!

I just sent my oldest child to Freshman orientation!

It seems like yesterday when Rick and I stood with Charis by the bus stop as she was entering kindergarten. Once she boarded, we hustled to our car and drove to the school so we could watch her exit the bus! It was so much fun. We laugh about it to this day. This morning, I dropped her off at Merced High, knowing that she knew absolutely no one there, and praying that the Lord would reveal to her in the proper time just one godly friend. We're excited for her again, and very thankful for our relationship with her. She has a heart that wants to please God and reach out to people. God's grace from start to finish is what we revel in! So as we take another step in this journey of life, my prayerful heart is simply trusting God for all the unknowns that future brings. The real test will be when we send off our boys for THEIR first day of school!! Pray!

Reflections on Being a Pastor's Wife (pt.2)

Alliteration seems to be a favorite literary device for many pastors, including my husband. May I try my hand at it? In thinking about the uniquenesses of being a pastor's wife (aside from the reality that dozens of ideas flood my mind and some spill over and escape), I decided today to highlight those reflections that begin with the letter "P." Let's compare them with the body systems of a human being (since I've always been intrigued with Human Anatomy studies).

Prayer - A constant state of mind! Particularly in ministry, I find I am very often in prayer for Rick, his study, his focus and clarity of mind, his encouragement, his demands, his time, his shepherd's heart, etc. I pray that I would be an asset in our marriage and church, that our children's growth and trials would not be overwhelming, that our church family would know and grow in love and purity. So many more specifics could be said, but suffice it to say that this quality of cherishing prayer is a skeletal backbone to all of our life and ministry. I love it!

People - I suppose I'd call this the muscular system of our "person." Without the people, the skeleton would be a bag of bones. People bring us strength and help us to move forward. They stretch us and even sometimes pain us (ouch to those muscle cramps!). But we need them and they need us. People ARE our ministry and we have given our lives for them. After all, Christ gave His life for us. Having people in our life is a must for a pastor's wife and it is a real hope of mine to continue learning to treasure people!

Preaching - My husband's preaching is just as much for me as it is for anyone else who hears him. I place myself under the submission of the authority of Scripture as I hear the Word preached. As a pastor's wife, some days it's easy to sit under his teaching and other days it's hard. But I know that over the past 15 years, Rick's preaching has flowed out of a life that craves study, clear communication, the power of the Holy Spirit, and relating well with his church body. Therefore, the preaching aspect of our ministry life is likened to the nervous system of the human body. It brings the life and soul out of us all.

Patience - Being a pastor's wife demands patience in various venues. I have to be patient with my husband (and the way he does and says things), with my children (and their pace of growth in the Lord), with our church growth (patiently watching the Lord do His work in people's lives and not just hoping for a numerical burst), and with discipleship (knowing that each person grows at different paces). Patience is like the blood circulation of our body. It needs to run throughout my "veins" in all I do, say, think and act. It is needed for life and if I lose it, I am depleted of strength and ability. I need patience! Now!

Perseverance - As with anything in life, we must persevere. Continuance. If we have to move away, if people in our fellowship have to leave or move, when trials come as promised, we still have to persevere. Doing it together makes it more bearable. You know the saying, "In marriage, your joys are doubled and your sorrows halved." Well, in ministry, if we can go through life together hand in hand and heart to heart, it makes the disappointments easier to handle. We can remind ourselves of the need to persevere...no matter what. This reminds me of the respiratory system - breathing in and breathing out - keeping on in this calling.

Personal growth - Okay, this is where someone who's NOT married to a pastor may potentiallly get away with this better than I can. There was a season most recently where I wished I didn't have to grow and seek the face of God. It was a very dry season and I believe that even these times are meant for our growth. Though it may seem that a pastor's wife's life is lived more in a fishbowl with "everyone" watching my every move, I do acknowledge the fact that this can actually be a real blessing. I know that others love me and want to see me serve Christ with all my heart. I don't want to be embittered, thinking folks judge me or my family. Rather, I see the blessing of always having the shepherding pastor at my calling. I see the blessing of knowing that so many people pray specifically for my family. I want to grow so that I can be there to help others grow as well. Personal growth is like the digestive system, using everything in my life to nourish me. It takes the good and disposes of the unnecessary. It gives me a stomach ache at times, but I know the good that will soon emerge.

Personality - cellular tissue! I am who I am in Christ. He has made me and He loves me. I am tempted at times to resist and reject the stereotypical "Pastor's Wife" mold (whatever that may mean for you). Yet as life continues, I am reminded by the Lord that I am to pursue Him and love others. I don't have a reputation to maintain for myself. Worrying about the external qualities actually just reveals the pride of my own heart. So my prayer is that I would receive whom God has made me to be and that I would serve Him with a pure heart and deep love.

Poured out - This is a very special aspect of being a pastor's wife. When my heart is right, I full-heartedly desire, because of the amazing grace of God, to pour out my life for others. I desire spiritual ministry and input into the personal lives of women. But when my heart is wrong, sometimes I can become burned out, stale, mechanical in ministry. Then, I am disappointed in Rick's calling and in our calling to make disciples. Please pray that God would mold me into the servant He wants me to be. Please pray that I would pour out my heart and life because of the One who has poured out His whole life for me! In reflecting on this important piece of a ministry life, I would compare it to the reproductive system. As I pour out to others, life is given and born. Other women would then learn how they should also pour out their lives for others. We would multiply our influence and be a lighthouse to the world.

Paradox - We think we are the ministers, but in the end, we are the ones who have been ministered to. Thank you for the support you extend to us (maybe even at times when you were the ones needing to be supported). How about the paradox of pouring out your soul until it's drained, almost dead...only to find out how truly life-giving it is to breathe hope into others?
Or, there's the paradox of being honest, open, vulnerable, "yourself;" at the same time not being too honest or open, being guarded, careful, and set apart. These, and other paradoxes, are part of the pastor's wife's life. I guess I would liken the presence of paradox to human eyesight. Though images are received through the eye gate, it is actually the occipital lobe of the brain that interprets what the eye saw!

Power - God's power...needed to help heal the hurts of ministry. Needed to help me love again. Needed to serve my family. Needed for all of life. Without His power, we are powerless. His power is limitless. No credentials, talents, abilities, or external qualities can sustain a pastor's wife. May His power reign in my life for the rest of my days!