Living Beyond Yourself

This week begins our women's bible studies on the Fruit of the Spirit. We're using Beth Moore's worktext entitled, "Living Beyond Yourself." I'm looking forward to this study. I want to learn more about the Holy Spirit's evidences in my life. I need to learn how to walk daily in the Spirit. I know the importance of digging deeper into the Scriptures. The Lord KNOWS how much I need love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control!

Yet, as a leader, there is always a haunting reality that you are being looked up to as an example to follow. I know there's not a standard of perfection; but perhaps it's this desperate need for something to imitate that we all share and desire. We naturally want someone to show us HOW to do something - it's like a "stamp of approval" that we're "doing things right."

Personally, I want to be that example. I've had so many older women pour themselves into my life, helping me and challenging me to follow Christ passionately. (Some who have sought me out, but most of whom I've gone to them for help, discipleship, and counsel.) I've seen godliness modeled and I do have it as my prayer to pour my life into other women. The part that scares me to death is when I fall, I don't want others to fall after me. It scares me when I think of the amount of influence I can have in women's lives. I never want to abuse that influence or to present fallacies. I want to represent Christ well. Please pray for me. I want to be a humble, honest, caring, biblical leader/servant. It's just a daunting task. I know my own weaknesses and even when I feel like an imposter, I still want to throw myself at Christ's feet and be used however He can use me. Because He's given His all for me, I cannot help myself but love and serve Him in return. Believe me, in my selfishness, it's much easier to retreat and rebel! But I am reminded that it is God's glory that is most important, not my own comfort. Again, please pray for me that I would be His useful servant, following Him with a tender heart. Thank you.

To anyone experiencing a dry season in life

Why IS it that there are times when it is so hard to submit to Christ in enough human trust to make it "count?" When is "enough"trust considered sufficient? Lately, every time I've read (since that's how God's been bringing it to me lately) about one of my friends trusting in God, I have just started crying. I've been moved by their faith and convicted of my own weakness. Yet, somehow, also emboldened at God's grip on them. At this time, I have a 35-y-o girlfriend who just received news yesterday that Hodgkins cancer has now struck after having fought breast cancer twice before already. She has a 2-yr-o daughter. Her stance yesterday was that she continues to claim Psalm 73:26,28. I bawled at her strength. Another friend has been facebooking me this past week. She doesn't trust the church and has been hurt by the people in it. She's seeing a counselor for help, but yet is asking for my help because we didn't "give up on her" when we lived in Ohio 10 years ago. I hurt for her struggle. I've been getting updates daily on another friend whose 9-y-o daughter was just sitting under a tree after church two Sundays ago and a branch fell down and perfectly punctured her in the pupil. As a missionary in Albania, she and her daughter had to go to Turkey to receive emergency help. The diagnosis as of yesterday was that there is definite damage to the retina and that she needed to remain hospitalized so that the doctors could watch for the blood pooling to dissipate. I'm in tears because I couldn't imagine having to be the "strong mommy" in that situation. Yet I'm humbled by her trust in God and her praising God for all the little things. She's claiming Psalm 34:8. I've been seeing a lot of people hurting lately. And as I'm just coming out of a deep trial myself, I've known the pain and loneliness that my friends are feeling. I've experienced the supernatural mercy of God even in the times that I've resisted it the most.

Sometimes when even the littlest things are taken away from us, we question how we can continue on in life. We feel rejected and misunderstood. It hurts when you feel like you've lost something special.

I know the silent treatment. I know the frustration, the mentally exhausted mind. I know the cold shoulder syndrome when things don't go my way. I know how to throw the rebellious attitude. I know the cynical side of acknowledging God's sovereignty. I know the dread of having to see other Christians when you just want to crawl into your own secluded corner. I know! It's definitely a struggle. It's a very hard place to be. And yet life has to go on, kids have to be fed, chores have to be done, food needs to be prepared, errands have to be run, sleep need to be had, agendas need to be met, etc!

In this dry season, may you catch breathtaking glimpses of God's tender eyes. He'll never let go. He's providing for you. He's given you a friend who's praying for you and walking with you. He knows it's going to be okay. He wants you to know it, too. I love you.

He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Another pilgrim on life's journey to HEAVEN... Nancy